Changed

It's kind of crazy to think about how much I've changed. Not that I used to be shy or anything but this year I've been saying hi to everyone I see even if I don't know them, so maybe I'll know them by the end of the year. I also shout to everyone after school to have a great day. It makes me hAppy. But also, I used to have glasses and bad teeth. Then braces. And short, thick knotted brown hair. Then I got contacts, grew my hair out, got side bangs, and my braces off. But was it all the right thing to do? 

    I feel like I'm trying too hard. And still not succeeding. I don't really know what it is that I don't have I guess it's just everything. I'll never be like them popular kids. Them obnoxious popular girls. 

     Emma Ford. Google her and you'll probably already see why. She's been on tv shows and all that, but she's super popular and obnoxiously gorgeous. She has perfect blonde hair that she flawlessly brushes back constantly with her hand and it still looks perfect. She's pretty smart and I think athletic. She's pretty much a typical popular girl, and I used to despise her. 

    It wasn't until this year that I realized that most of the hating was from jealousy. I mean of course, she's perfect. They all are. I was standing in the lunch line alone because nick was following me and I was in a bad mood so I shoo'd him away. Then a perfect popular girl got in the other line next to me with her perfect popular friend. They seemed to finger brush their hair back at the same time perfectly like Emma. One of them was wearing a mini skirt and one of those annoying tops from tillys that I could never fit into. The other girl was wearing short shorts and probably an Abercrombie top that was obviously meant to be a belly shirt but somehow dem middle school populars make it somewhat acceptable for dress code yet really sexy it's inna-pro-pro. Both of them should have gotten dress-coded because their bottoms were too short and their tops weren't right. But they stood there and gossiped like dem populars do and looked perfect. I felt stupid and ugly and fat standing next to them with their Barbie sized bodies. They were standing (more like posing) in their sexy expensive stylish outfits, and I was standing (slouching) in my loose denim shorts and raider-pride black t-shirt. It kind of made me mad. But I guess that's just how it is. 

       Dem popular girls seem to have everything. Boyfriends, money, attractiveness, perfect hair, etc. But is that really everything? No-sir-ee. Sure they're hair still looks perfect in a seemingly effortless ponytail that stays in place the whole PE period while I have to wear two headbands and three hair ties to hold this hunk of poop called hair back for running and it still looks terrible. Sure things seem so much easier for them. Sure everybody wants to be them. But does it all really matter? It doesn't. They need to get their priorities straight. 

       After a bit of thought waiting in the lunch line next to dem popular girls, I just sighed at their gossiping and smiled to myself, I was taking life in day by day and enjoying the ride; I was happy. That's all that's important for now. I don't need all that dem popular girls got. I'm okay just the way it all is for me now.