Running away

I'm not sure what to do. I feel *this* close to running away into he canyon, just being alone. I'm just done with all this crap of these people, all their lies. I'm tied of myself, tired of school. I mean it's so terrible how school has become a depressing place. I cut. My best guy friend cuts. Some of my other friends do, too. None of them know that I do though. None of them really care about me. 

     I packed my bag today. All it needs is a flashlight and food and it's complete. I have money, clothes, a headlight, a blanket, a stuffed animal, a journal, and pens. I don't think I'm going to actually take my bag and go, but for some reason packing it helped me a bit. 

    I almost felt the canyon lour me in tonight. I was going to my friends house but I walked in the canyon. I stopped after a while and looked around. "This could be it," I said to myself. "No". 

Wonder

Sometimes I wonder. What did I do wrong? I might not understand for a while. But then mind tells me, "everything". I did it all wrong. I want to start over. I want to be closer to my sisters, my parents, I wish I had real friends that could see under my bracelets as my smiles, someone that understands me. I want the scars to go away before people will see my insecurities as they're left on my arm and leg. I want to be smart, I want to be pretty. I wish I never quit softball. I want to be happy. I want to be optimistic and shiny. I want to be the girl that everyone wants to be, I want to be inspirational. I was to make the world have a new perspective. 

I want to change. 

Have to watch this

This had made me cry endlessly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY