Sad.

I'm just really sad at this point. I'm fat ugly and stupid. 

I'm just kind of done. 

Sorry

I'm sorry 

Battle scars

     Well I did it again. I probably won't do it ever ever again but I cut again. Nobody even noticed, but that's a good thing. Nobody notices how broken I am. 

     I wore my watch on my left wrist with my bracelets and hair ties to cover it up. I feel like the cuts represent my worries, stress, issues,weaknesses, and everything I hide. When they're not covered up, I feel anxious and vulnerable.   But it's Okays. 

    Sarah asked to borrow one of my hair ties  today and I had a half-a-second panic attack wondering what I should do, and ended up pretending like it was no big deal and with it covered I took a hair tie off and gave it to her. I adjusted the other one to cover. Ashly had a bandaid on the side of her wrist. She told me she had cut and I freaked out, which is why I'll tell no one. But her Mom called her an f-ing b***. I didn't tell Ashly about me because I thought it might compel her to do it again. 

     Ashly asked me for a hairtie also when we were going out to PE. My watch would have to be my last protection, so I made up an excuse and said no. I eventually gave it to her. I survived. 

     But I want to tell you people to never ever cut yourself. You are so beautiful! I'm working on it myself and I think imma be Okays. 

I have so much to say

Soososososooo much idk where to start.